emily_lemony

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been on here, with good reason I suppose.
I'm in my second to last semester of school now..well for my BS anyway.
I've had to stop working full time, which means less money or well..no money for my beloved lolita items, everything I have is sadly out of date and season..but at least it's all still beautiful!
I work about 20 hours a week now (*cries*) but still have the same amount of bills (*double cries*)
Most of my classes aren't very difficult but are reaaaaally boring, namely the two geology classes. Trig (yeah, i know, i was putting it off for a while) is actually easy...for now.
Adolescent psych is really cool! Mwahaham hopefully I'll still have my notes by the time my future children are teens :). I have a test in this class tomorrow.
Abnormal psych...yeah..she said not to use to to diagnose people...but it's really cool nonetheless and I got the text book really cheap by buing an international copy. LOL when I got it in the mail from an amazon seller there was a HUGE ORANGE sticker on it that said "NOT FOR SALE WITHIN THE UNITED STATES" mwhahaha I showed them!
Those two psych classes are online lectures taught by the same teacher and have the same due dates for everything (you think she'd make it easier on herself and have the classes alternate due dates so she isn't swamped all at once...or not that I'm writing this I realize it's easier to get everyone done with at once *blush*)
I have a test in both of those classes tomorrow and I should be studying and taking notes that I've been putting off for the last 3 or 4 weeks. Oh the lectures are sooooo annoying though! you can pause them but you can rewind or fast forward just the audio, so if the clip is 10 minutes long you have to listen to the whole thing even if you just missed something at the end or middle. When the clip is paused and restarted it doesn't restart where it stopped, it restarts like 10 or 15 seconds from where it was first paused...basicall when you pause you will have to relisten to to the whole thing from the beginning 99% of the time to be able to know for sure you heard and wrote down EVERYTHING.
It wouldn't be so bad but her tests are LIVING HELL.
She gives you 4 statements and you have to pick out which is false.
This goes on for 50 questions.
Some questions and statements are very very nitpicky so it's important you write down every single little thing she says no matter how insignificant it may seem.
I was originally trying to get these classes as in school lectures but OF COURSE this semester they weren't offered that way (never mind that they have been every single semester prior to this one). I'm really angry because I HAVE to take them this semseter and the school is offering fewer and fewer class selections (subject as well as sections available).
Oh and my beloved psych 2300, what would I do without you? Probably not want to commit suicide by jumping head first out of the classroom window.
I H A V E T O P A S S T H I S C L A S S. If I want to graduate and go on to my next class in the psych sequence that is. The entire class is one big paper. There's notes and 2 tests though. Mostly though the class assignments are broken down into segments of our larger paper. There is of course a 5 minute Power Point presentation of your material, on which a panel of PhD's from the department will grade you and your worthiness. So You cna get straight A's in the class and if they think your presentation sucks...you fail, just like that.

My Love Life.
Okay..here's the cliff notes.
Dropped the the guy I was dating for like 2 years...or was it 3? Doesn't matter now. OMG he was such a self centered jerk..AND I find out that the whole time we were dating he was just acting how he though I wanted him to be so I would stay with him.
So to everyone out there that's reading this...listen to my advice...
Don't ever change yourself for someone, because your true self will eventually come out anyway. If you have to change who you are to be with someone, then you really aren't compatible anyway! Go find someone else or date that person casually, don't take it as far as buying a house or getting married (OMG I almost did both those things with someone I evidently hardly knew at all).
What hurt more than anything was him accusing *ME* of falsifying myself. I didn't of course, he was only projecting what he knew he was doing on to me, it's a common defense mechanism.
He was more concerned about his "music career" (he didn't have one) than anything else.
He ignored me a lot, it just got gradually worse. Then he told me having a nice family and children wouldn't make him feel complete (read: not enough) that he thought there were bigger and better things for him out there (read: I'd ignore my children and family to pursue personal goals instead of incorporating them into my personal goals). Basically, he'd give me a family and kids and a house just so I'd "stick around". Oh and he used to tell me such "nice" things like..."I like just knowing you're around" sounds sweet huh? what he really meant was "I like just knowing you're waiting around to hang out with me when I'm done what I have to do." You know what he said to me once that made me realize that's how he meant the statement I thought was so sweet. I went out with friends on a day me and my boyfriend had off together, which was a Monday (by off I mean he didn't have work and I didn't have school...but I still had work from 6am to 2:30pm), when I asked him to spend time with me on a Wednesday when we had off together again TWO DAYS LATER, he said "Sorry, you weren't around the day I had time for you. I have to practice DJing tonight." Like WTF! he knew I had plans! He would NEVER do stuff during the day when I was at work...cuz he's sleep the whole time instead of thinking "OH! If I get all my stuff done early while Kelly is at work then I'll have more time to spend with her since I don't really spend any time with her at ALL and then she'll be happy again and satisfied with the relationship!"
But no, he has a HUGE ego and thinks he's perfect. Dickhead.
He would purposely withhold attention from me, even when I would cry because I was lonely, he would just look over at me like I was stupid and not move from behind his stupid laptop or turntables. He ignored me the day before my birthday (a Monday, he was working on my birthday..I told him to, I didn't care because I figured we'd have Monday together) but he watched a full season of Battlestar Galactica at his friend's house instead of spending time with me...yanno even though I called him and asked him to please come home and cried that I wanted his love and attention.
After we broke up I spoke with a friend of mine who hooked us up. She said she didn't know I was looking for a long term boyfriend and if she did she wouldn't have set us up because he really isn't that great.
Evidently he was just looking for any girl to date because he made up his mind he wanted to have a girlfriend. I was number 3 that was a possibility because 1. I lived nearby 2. I was single 3. I was pretty and smart enough for his liking.
I thought he really liked me, turns out he was only being attentive so I'd WANT to date him. Once we started dating the attention got less and less until he gave me none.

BUT THAT'S OVER WITH!
I have a great, new, awesome boyfriend. He's taught me what it is to REALLY be in love. I feel like our souls are knitted together. I love the core of who he is, not the superfluous things that will eventually go away or change. I've never felt this way about anyone. It's a very scary and thrilling feeling to realise that you actually, truley, positively, beyond the shadow of doubt, in love with a person.
We have our problems because he knows I was less than faithful to my ex, but honestly, when I cheated on my ex...I should have just left...I knew I wasn't happy, I was just used to him and I hate change.
I'm glad I broke up with him though and you know....this time, change was a very good thing.
Brian loves me for who I am and doesn't bother to change who he is so that I'll love and stay with him. He's self confident and doesn't mind showing his affection for me in front of his friends, he doesn't mind letting people know that sometimes I influence his decisions (read: not being scared of looking p-whipped because he knows he isn't), actually..he doesn't really care what people think of his personal life. He breaks every single preformed ideas and ideas formed from experience that I have of relationships and men. He's unpredictable! It's so nice and so much fun! He's this beautiful person that I strive to be like. He has all these wonderful qualities, he's polite, he's able to make quick descisions, he's not harsh about people's behaviour, he reminds me to give people a chance and not judge them so rapidly...there's so much more though that I can't even begin to explain. He notices every little thing about me, he noticed once that I dyed my eyebrows! WHO notices that??? *giggles*
He's not like anyone I've ever met before, let alone anyone I've ever dated before.
He's what I've always wanted in a boyfriend :) and I don't know how I got so lucky.

HOORAY! School is done for the semester. I'm bummed out though because I got my very first C :(. My boyfriend took me to eat sushi and see a movie to make me feel better.
My grades are:
Biology: Form and Function: B
Biology: Form and Func. Lab: B
Environmental Geography: A
Algebra: C

I would have had a B or an A in Algebra except I BOMBED the final. My teachers (we had two, the class was really large...in the beginning) didn't tell us we couldn't use a graphing calculator. I really should have used some common sense though.
I didn't need it to actually do the graphs but I needed it to do logarithms. All I had was a crappy business one that only did LNs so I had to do base changes...which aren't difficult, just annoying and since I hadn't needed to do them I didn't have much practice with them. It sucks because I really rock at logarithms. Anyway, the business calculator automatically rounded...*most* things inputted or outputted. Part of our test was multi-choice and the calculated answer was being thrown off so much I couldn't tell which answer to choose. Luckily there was a scientific calculator circulating but I didn't get it in time and could only recheck a scant amount of my test.
I might retake the class if I'm allowed, I really dislike that C. I'm going this week sometime to look at my final and see if the logarithms are to blame for my poor grade as I suspect they are.

Math can make me feel so dumb sometimes. I only have Trig. left to take, but I do have a Psych. statistics class in the fall semester. I think I'll do just fine in it though, so I'm not worried the least bit.

Fall 2008 sched.
Psychology: Statistics
Psychology: Personality
Psychology: Educational Psychology
Biology: Biodiversity
Biology: Biodiversity Lab
I had a history and music course too but I deleted them because I didn't want to be aggravated with extra classes I don't need. I may pick up another class somewhere, but really it's hard to fit them into my life since I work during the day. Most of my classes are online and some, like my biologies, are done on campus after 3pm.

Had a lolita meet up Saturday at Sucre, which is a really awesome pastry shop on Magazine street. There was glitter on all the desserts, they were so beautiful! There was also a not-so-normal selection of gelato flavors, like Nectar Soda, creamsicle and cocount basil. There were the standard flavors like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, almond etc.
Once we all got there we had a treats and some of us had a nice light lunch :), the chicken potpie there was really amazing! Best $10 chicken potpie I ever had *hehehe*. I was happy to see Kammie again, her bangs and eyelashes were LOOOVELY, not to mention her super kawaii macaroon JSK and AP accessories! We missed seeing Jasmine and Geneva, I'm sure they looked really lovely too! Oh well, next time we'll have a set time so there won't be so much confusion :).
There were some new lolitas there also :). Amy and her boyfriend Chris were in for Pyrate Con :). Gabby was really cool and soooo tiny, I LOVE her pink hair so much!!! There was another group of three people (2 girls and a guy) but I didn't catch their names :( SORRY! but I did really like the strawberry wa-lolita outfit!!!!!!
And then there was Hai, who I met a couple of years ago, but I was very happy to make his acquaintance again (maybe we won't lose touch this time, huh!!). I also met West, Lil Cooch, Eric and a couple of other guys who's names I've forgotten (sorry guys!!!! Ya'll aren't any less special!!!)
At the park I ran into my cousin Hope. Well, more like she *glomped!* me :D* I couldn't tell who it was at first cuz she had on SUPER HUGE sunglasses and well....I just wasn't expecting to see her, haha! Evidentally Kammie and Lil Cooch know her, which is pretty damn cool :P

Next meetup I need to wear pretty eyelashes, more blush and lip gloss. I looked so pale in the pictures!